Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
