No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
