I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
