Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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