I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
