so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
My cat gives me a boner
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
