We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
