You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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