ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
