ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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