She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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