Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
this will be a night to untag.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
