From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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