You just made me feel so damn special
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
