I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
can u get pink eye on your cock?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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