I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
she peed on how many people?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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