dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
