Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
