Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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