Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(901): View more from Tennessee

i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.

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(585): View more from New York

i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?

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(712): View more from Iowa

We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.

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(260): View more from Indiana

Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?

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(941): View more from Florida

Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?

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(785): View more from Kansas

He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important

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(847): View more from Illinois

Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays

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