Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
