Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
