Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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