She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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