After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
