what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Randomize
