It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize