We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I am available for nakedness
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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