Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
