found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
it's great music for shaving your balls
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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