so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My penis needs a shock collar
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
