yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
