I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I just threw up on my dentist
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
