I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Who did Billy Mays play for?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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