Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
My ass is underappreciated
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
