I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize