Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
