Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
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