If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
