thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize