It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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