she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
