please come you make the beer taste better
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
