I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize