well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
