is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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