naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
