it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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