So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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