in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Panties = found
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
