Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
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When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
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I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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