similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize