You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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