I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
