He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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