I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
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