Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize