i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
