Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize
