i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
