watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
